There's nothing worse than being forced to listen to announcers you can't stand, especially in a sport with as much time for banter as baseball. (After all, actively choosing to listen to broadcasters aside from your own team's violates the rivalry's Third Commandment.)
When I decided to spend the weekend at home in Connecticut, I'd say 50% of the draw was hearing the YES Network announcers broadcast the Yanks/Sox game on Saturday. (The other 50%? Mother's Day. Does that make me a bad son? She's a Yanks fan too...she'd understand...)
So half of me completely panicked when I learned that FOX was carrying the game. The other half knew the team of Joe Buck, Tim McCarver and sideline reporter Ken Rosenthal provides at least 20 minutes of pure, unadulterated, miraculous (unintentional) announcing comedy.
I was not disappointed. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the FOX Saturday Baseball announcers:
SCENE: Midway through an inning, the FOX cameras focus on a group of pigeons pecking the dirt of the left field warning track.
Joe Buck: And a group of pigeons decide to land on the field.
Tim McCarver: One thing that reminds me of (pause), speaking of birds (a greater segue was never uttered), is how Yanks pitching coach Kevin Long has worked with [Yanks right fielder Nick] Swisher to keep his head still [while batting].
(Come again, Timmy? A little more context, perhaps?)
JB: I said "pigeons". I'm told they're actually doves.
TM: Well, Kevin Long needs to work with those doves to keep their heads still.
(Still waiting on that explanation, Tim!)
JB: We'll need to check for the plural of "dove."
TM: I think "dove" is the plural of "dove."
(FOX continues to rotate camera shots between the game and the pigeon-doves. I hate when baseball gets in the way of a good bird conversation, especially at a baseball stadium.)
(Joe Buck asks for sideline reporter Ken Rosenthal's input. Good idea, Joe - he's closer to the field.)
KR: Guys, I'm going by the Prince song, "When Doves Cry."
TM, as if this is the most ridiculous thing he's ever heard: C'mon!
KR: Well, it's in the song title - doves, plural.
(I'm on the edge of my seat.)
JB: Did Ken Rosenthal, he of the (pause) print (pause) media, just refer to a Prince song to verify the answer for the plural of the word Dove? (pause) He's right. Prince was right. When in doubt, refer to Prince.
(Author: Rams seat through TV.)
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- Sox CF Mike Cameron heads to his rehab assignment.
- A Detroit blogger muses, Should the Tigers play the Sox and Yanks more? He'll take a pass on those titans, he says.